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PARASCAN.DOC
Monday, December 4, 1989 11:04 pm
the
Bytebrother's
PARASCAN
by Jimmy
Pearson
REVISION 3
the
PARANOID SCAN SYSTEM
Virus Checker and POLITICAL statement |
FAST LOGIC
OUTLAWS
Wichita Ks.
this program
is released FREE with no charge or
registration fee.
PARAscan now
includes the dynamic new MobyViro
enhancement, the PARAscan Strength Monitor System
and NEW REAL TIME RINGSIDE display!
PARASCAN *
The Paranoid Scan System *
by the Bytebrothers
It's three
o'clock in the morning. And holy hell breaks loose.
Computer
users moan as their heads mutate into the shape of hogs.
Livestock in adjoining fields begin speaking as their heads
form into human heads with the gift of speech.
Computer
chips begin moving, and climb out of their sockets and crawl
out floppy drive doors murdering computer users in their
sleep.
Three
dimensional images of Christ are burned into the phosphors of
CRT screens across the world.
Elderly
female corpses climb from their graves in darkened graveyards
and walk the streets, looking for fresh motherboards to wreak
their frenzy upon.
H-Bombs go
off over digital metropolises of Japanese chips, who in turn
lauch bitstream air strikes at America's Pacific UART and DMA
controllers.
T.V.
Evangelists drop dead on top of executable files of Telix and
Qmodem.
Millions of
computer users wonder why their prompts turn into swastikas
and their .com files keep dissappearing..
PARANOID..!!
you say..???
how can
you be sure..???
the
Bytebrother's PARAscan incorporates the new PARANOID SCANNING
SYSTEM which is designed to destroy the new wave viruses
coming as the children of Baud approach the digital
Armegeddon in the comic book of life we call "Bedtime
for Cthulu".. So you say, "Why do *I* need another
virus checker.??" The answer is because you don't want
to wake up some morning, look into your mirror, and see the
face of a 340 pound hog.! You don't want a digital Dick Nixon
erasing 18 minute segments of your floppy disk collection.!
You don't want a murderous virus murdering your .com files
and burying them under your power supply in their pajamas..!!
(* sob *)
Install
PARAscan on your system and run it, it will give you a
running report of the cosmic battle and the monsters that it
encounters. Run it in your autoexec.bat file each morning to
start the day out right with no spawn of Satan lurking in
your disk clusters.
This
program does absolutely nothing, except attempt to make a
political statement about digital yellow journalism and the
paranoia of ignorance. It's dedicated to every engineer who
sacrifices valuable tools because of managers who believe
that every public program is a syphlitic sore, and that bbs
systems are digital gay bars. It's also dedicated to the
literally millions of computer hours burned up in the quest.
This
program is free, which is another major difference between it
and many other virus checkers. It is dedicated to reason and
common sense.
If I have
the same chance this year of getting a tire blowout on the
freeway, that I do getting a computer virus on my system. Why
do I find it unacceptable to spend five minutes of my time
every day feeling all my tires before I go to work.??
Jimmy
Pearson
& the Bytebrothers
=======Bytebrothers
Über Alles!!=======
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